Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
A Fallen Sequel
2009-06-23
By Sergio A. Mims

CAST: Shia LaBeouf
            Megan Fox
           Josh Duhamel
           Tyrese Gibson
           John Turturro
           Ramon Rodriquez

WRITTEN BY: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman

DIRECTED BY: Michael Bay

• ONE STAR

Transformers 2 is exhibit A of everything that’s wrong with Hollywood films today. Mind numbingly chaotic, childish, soulless, superficial and just plain dumb. It is the ultimate example of a film made by adults with stunted emotional growth and nothing but contempt for audiences so wore down by the unending flood of bad movies fostered upon that they are willing accept anything in the form of entertainment.

Following up where the previous Transformers left off, Shia LaBeouf’s character is about to enter college when bad Transformers defeated in the previous film come back to life and gather en masse to find him and the key to a long buried machine that will give them control over their domain.

Convoluted, frantic and poorly thought-out drama ensues. That’s pretty much the plot in its entirety. Meanwhile one dimensional cardboard characters who are more robotic than the actual robots are treated as fodder to be thrown about, battered, and chased (again and again) to increasingly boring effect.

 With Transformers 2, Michael Bay confirms his status as the worst director working in films today, amazingly even worse than Stephen Sommer (The Mummy Returns, Van Helsing)  and the beloved Tyler Perry. Subtlety is not a word Bay is familiar with and with this film he goes past his own previous extremes making Transformers 2 nothing but frantic movement, incoherent action, whiz bang and boom and heavy-handed product placement ads clumsily thrown in.

For a film so expensive, there’s a surprising sloppiness in continuity and logic. Characters are introduced then quickly forgotten without any explanation. A scene taking place just outside a Washington D.C, museum is strangely set on an open plain with mountains in the background. I know Howard University in DC is called The Hilltop, but mountains? Really? Later, a car chase in a city involving LaBeouf inexplicitly finds him a few frames later running through a forest being chased by the robots with no explanation of how he got there.

Even more disturbing is the film’s blatant racism. Two of the Transformers speak in Ebonics and black slang, one even sporting a gold tooth, and both of course happen to be the most immature, dumbest robots in the film.

I enjoy mindless fun, but only when its, well, not so mindless. Transformers 2 that will no doubt make a ton of money but as two hours of your life goes, my guess is you’ll be asking for that time back. Find a really great book about robots. Read that instead.

Film critic, lecturer and festival consultant Sergio Mims covers all things film from the city that works, Chicago. He is a regular contributor to EbonyJet.com.