Ask Neycha: Rowdy Family
2008-11-20
Dear Neycha:
I’m dreading going home for the holidays although it is tradition. My family is a very rowdy bunch, drinking, partying. My husband doesn’t want to go this year because he says it’s not fun to be around me when I end up upset by how my family behaves. I definitely don’t want to miss going. What should I do?
~Relative OF The Rowdy Bunch, Boston, MA
Dear Relative:
Practice A-C-C-E-P-T-A-N-C-E; it can help you more comfortably coexist with your rowdy fam. Accepting their behavior DOES NOT mean you have to fancy their antics. It simply means that you acknowledge the situation for what it is and disengage your sense of what should and shouldn’t be according to your preferences.
Listen sweets, you can prefer that the sun not rise tomorrow morning, but it will according to the natural order of things. So it is with your family – they will continue to get down the way they always have because it is the habitual flow of things. YOUR judgment removes YOU from the flow, and worse still it not only upsets you, but it upsets the balance of energy between you and your husband. Is it really worth all that?
I suggest you take your judgment and stuff it in the holiday turkey. It’s a pesky little habit that we employ when we’re trying to control every little wickey dickey. Stop it already! Control is the anchor that keeps acceptance from taking flight. Prep yourself for takeoff lovey!
Go home for the holidays, with the intention to stay unplugged from your judgments. Also, suspend your prediction that it will be a dreadful visit. Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll get your party on with the rowdy bunch. Happy holidays lovey!
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