R-E-S-P-E-C-T
raising a respectful child
2007-09-24
By Sherri McGee McCovey

Temper tantrums. Cursing. And talking back. Bad behavior may seem cute when little Johnnie is five, but it won’t be so nice when he’s fifteen and you’re bailing him out of jail.

With so many outside influences facing children – from Myspace, to explicit music videos and videogames – parents may sometimes feel they’re losing the battle to raise respectful, well-adjusted children.  Despite the seemingly insurmountable odds, there is a solution.

Start early and be consistent.

As tired as we may be, it is our responsibility to ensure that children get a jump on being prepared to compete. Though it’s easy – and convenient – to let TV entertain small ones, it’s more beneficial for them to avoid television altogether, especially for the first two years. In fact, studies have shown that children who watch too much television are at a greater disadvantage when they start school. Instead, stimulate their abilities through interaction. Read to them. Or, encourage them to put down the remote and pick up a book.  Better yet, get them outdoors.  Sports foster good sportsmanship, discipline and teamwork. Extracurricular activities of any kind teach children values, respect and build self-esteem.  

Proper nutrition is a must. According to a U.S. Surgeon General’s report, childhood obesity is now a top public health concern. Pediatricians report that more children are showing up in their offices with high diseases: high blood sugar (diabetes), high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. Children can’t focus on an empty stomach. Wake up earlier.  Prepare a healthy breakfast so they’re able to tackle the challenges of the day. And though tempted to pick up a quick bite after a long workday, opt for nutritious dinners even if it means making several meals for the week.

Children that thrive start with parents who are willing to make sacrifices to ensure they have the tools to succeed. Help with homework. Monitor friends. Listen when there’s a problem, and teach them to respect elders. While it’s important to have good relationships, make it clear that you’re not a friend. You’re the parent. Set rules and boundaries. Teach them that manners never go out of style. And that please and thank you goes a long way.
 The best way to encourage the next generation is to strive to be examples they can emulate. We owe them that. Later for the adage, ‘do as I say, not as I do.” Kids are like sponges.  They are going to do exactly what they see us do.
FIVE TIPS FOR RAISING A WINNER:
• RESPECT – Kids have interesting perspectives. Hear them out.  Then use the time as an opportunity to talk openly.
• CORRECT – Emotional outbursts shouldn’t equal reprimand. Correct with kindness.
• TALK IT OUT – There’s usually something more behind bad behavior. Find out what’s going on and talk about it without judging.
• ALLOW IT – Children learn from their mistakes. Even if you see them making one, if it doesn’t hurt, let it go.
• BE CALM – How you communicate at home determines how your children will interact with others. As much as you may be tested, maintain your cool and monitor your tone.

Sherri McGee McCovey is an author, television producer, and regular contributor to ebonyjet.com